SEXUAL STUFF

Transcendental Masturbation

I didn't have quite the experiences that John did but I can tell you from personal experience that transcendental masturbation can open the door to a state of meditation that is truly peaceful.  And it's a fun way to get to a state of peace where thoughts have ceased and there is just being. 

Consciousness

 Philosophy of mind

Off the Wrist: John Lennon

Well, here we are with the second of our occasional series on the masturbatory fantasies of the rich and famous. Having examined the pud-pulling habits of Marc Bolan, this time we turn to legendary rock figure John Lennon. Recently released secret FBI files on John Lennon give us some insights into the thoughts of the ex-Beatle whilst he twanged the wire.

Transcripts of bugged telephone calls and private conversations from the early 1970s reveal Lennon discussing his plank spanking fantasies with close friends including Bob Dylan and Phil Spector. Whilst most of his fantasies seemed to run along conventional lines , in one phone conversation John is heard admitting that he had sometimes entertained some less-conventional homoerotic fantasies. "I was having a quick jodrell [Jodrell Bank - wank] in the bogs at Abbey Road while we were recording the 'White Album', when suddenly this picture of us dressed in our Sgt Pepper outfits popped into my mind," he reveals. "Before I knew it I was imagining a frolicking foursome with Paul, George and Ringo! Although all the other three were involved, it was definitely Paul that I was most attracted to - I think it was that blue uniform he was wearing. And the moustache. Oh, the moustache! Mind you, George looked pretty tasty in that three-cornered hat..." Lennon's admission is astounding, revealing an aspect to his character he normally vehemently suppressed - he once hit a reporter who suggested that there might be a homosexual relationship between Lennon and Beatles manager Brian Epstein.

The FBI files also reveal that whilst John was in India studying with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, he mastered an arcane transcendental masturbation technique. This allowed him to go into a trance-like state whilst throttling the turkey, thereby allowing him to increase the endurance of this endeavour to several hours. These mammoth salami-slapping sessions were apparently accompanied by incredible sexual fantasies, which sometimes involved John becoming variously fabulously-endowed Hindu deities performing incredible sexual feats, such as shagging fifteen elephants on top of the Taj Mahal, in order to prove himself worthy of gaining a state of true nirvana. There is speculation amongst pop-historians that some of John's most famous lyrics were inspired by these experiences, with 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds' being cited as an example. It is claimed that the flowers 'That grow so incredibly high' are references to giant penises , whilst the 'bridge by a fountain' is obviously a metaphor for ejaculation and the 'train in a station' a euphemism for sexual intercourse. However, traditionalists fiercly deny that another famous Lennon number was inspired by his persistent masturbatory fantasy of making love to Yoko with two breadsticks in his mouth and slapping his hands together repeatedly at the moment of ejaculation shouting "I am the Walrus!", whilst McCartney threw fish to him.

Rogue MI5 agent David Shayler - a fat man who sometimes sports a silly goatee beard - has claimed that Britain's Security Service also held a file on Lennon detailing his truncheon oiling activities. According to Shayler the 1970-74 Conservative government considered Lennon a potentially dangerous moral influence on Britain's youth. They feared that if his transcendental wanking techniques became public knowledge they could lead to a serious drop in industrial productivity as young men followed Lennon's example and practiced their own, solitary, bed-ins. Indeed, the three-day week of early 1974 had to be introduced when some Lennon fans discovered that by playing his 'Mind Games ' LP backwards, you could

From:  http://www.thesleaze.co.uk/off_the_wrist_lennon-015.html

Masturbation As Meditation

 When I was 18 or 19, at a time in my life when I had a lot of free time on my hands (not unlike now), I had the freedom to take really long showers. The shower in the apartment I lived in at the time had really good water pressure, if you know what I mean. I realized that after getting into the habit of masturbating every morning, I found myself feeling pretty relaxed everyday. I came to the conclusion that masturbation could count as a form of self-help, stress relief, therapy, which led me to believe that everyone should masturbate at least once a day and that if everyone did we’d live in a much better world.

Betty Dodson in her book Sex for One writes about Masturbation as Meditation. As she tells it, she had started practicing transcendental meditation everyday in two twenty minute sessions. At one point, when pressed for time, she decided to incorporate her meditation mantra into her masturbation session. Instead of two twenty minute sessions a day, she would masturbate for forty minutes every night while repeating her mantra. Time saving and delightfully orgasmic. What a discovery she had made, “Now everyone will want to meditate”. 

Not exactly, her meditation friends tended to think her obsession with sex had showed up at the wrong place and time. Her sex minded friends thought it was kind of funny and others sort of gently patted her on the head “assuming [she] wanted to aggrandize masturbation”. I know, patronizing, right? But wait, she got some facts to back her shit up. Betty Dodson would jerk off for science. Her friend Raymond, a P.h.D. sex researcher, was conducting a study at Rutger’s University, which would demonstrate the significance of brain phenomena during orgasm. 

[Raymond] was investigating how sexual behavior affects the right and left hemispheres [...] He would be monitoring brain activity with an electroencephalograph (EEG) while also recording cardiac, circulatory, and muscular changes in the body. 

On the day Betty would play guinea pig, she showed up at the lab with her trusted vibrator and needed nothing but the reality of the situation: “Three faceless lovers in white coats, fingering dials and carefully adjusting instruments as they watched the readout on Anonymous Subject Number 5503″, to get herself off. Just before the Big O, which has been proceeded by a smaller one, tragedy would strike: the idiots cut her off and told her the session was over. 

Incredible! All three scientists had pulled out just as I was about to come. Damn it! Why do men always do that? I fumed. They’d missed recording my Bog O by three seconds. [...] Later I learned who My technician lovers had short-circuited my second orgasm. They feared I was on the onset of a heart attack! According to their graphs and charts ecstasy was hazardous to my health. Scientific nonsense! I’d been having orgasm like that for years. 

Despite the miscommunication between Betty and her technician lovers, the results where still fascinating. Raymond explained to Betty the concept of different brain frequencies referred to as beta (ordinary consciousness and rational thinking), alpha (REM sleep), theta (deep sleep with little or no dream activity), and delta (deepest level, muscle activity is suspended and coma occurs). 

It all made sense.

The minute I threw the switch on my vibrator, my brain waves registered alpha, and they stayed there throughout the entire masturbation sequence except just before the medium orgasm and again before the Big O they missed recording. At those points, my brain waves dipped down into theta. I was using a deeper dimension of my mind for experiencing pleasure. My brain was having a quick, deep, restful sleep, while my body was moving, heart pumping, blood flowing, and muscles flexing all the way through orgasm. 

There you have it, another good reason to masturbate!

From: http://cuntlove.wordpress.com/2010/02/03/masturbation-as-meditation/

I did it! (Tantric Masturbation)

 From:  http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=404754

Masturbation could bring hay fever relief for men

 Discourse and Sexual Desire: German-Language Discourse on Masturbation in the Late Eighteenth Century

http://www.jstor.org/stable/3704533?seq=1